Sunday June 19th, 2005

Songs to Kill Yourself To Current mood: contemplative I think the current system of categorising music is woefully inadequate. Most of what I listen to falls under the "alternative" genre. What the hell is "alternative"? As far as I can tell, it means anything they can't find another category for. I could talk to someone else who also listens to mostly "alternative" and their music taste could be drastically different from mine - it's highly possible we couldn't agree on a single band. How is that an effective classification? I just went to Nashville Sunday night at 3rd and Linsley to see Aqualung. Nobody wanted to go with me so I went by myself (everybody say ahhhhhhhh, poor Claire). I quite like it though, people look at you very strangely when you go to a music show alone, especially if you are a girl, like either you're being defiantly independent, or you're sad and lonely and have no friends. Neither was the case, I just really like the band, have for ages. So, while I sipped my wine at 3rd and Linsley, I came up with another classification of songs - Songs to Kill Yourself To. There are thousands of songs out there about having your heart broken, about breaking-up, should be breaking up, shouldn't have broken up, will die without you, will die with you, etc....etc.... And I wonder, if this industry of depressing songs thrives, do we just like to be depressed by our music? For some reason, I just love depressing songs, the more heart-wrenching the better. It's weird, because friends who know me know this, but they also comment on my sickening optimism. In high school, I listened to, almost exclusively, Nine Inch Nails, Stone Roses, The Cure (Wish Album, really depressing) and U2's Achtung Baby, which is about The Edge's divorce. Now, my track record is really no better - love Snow Patrol, but their whole album is about cheatin', Aqualung, who take depressing to levels formerly unexplored, and various others. But, I've noticed a thread joining my favourite songs - most of them are heartbreak, break-up songs. I wonder, does this say something about me? I am a music fanatic. I spend a lot of time listening to it. Why do I choose to listen to songs which have the potential to make me miserable? Well, to flip the coin, happy music makes me edgy - Phish, Grateful Dead, etc... puts me on edge. It's like they're telling me I have to have a good time and I should like it because it's so damn happy. I'd much rather listen to something miserable, spend that time focusing on the misery, and get out of my car/house refreshed and ready to face the world a happy person. I think we spend so much of our time trying to put a brave face on for the world, that those moments of selfish, wallowing introspection alone in the car or the house give us a much needed reprieve from the demands of the world. Now, I'm capable, sometimes, of yelling out a happy tune, but over all, I think I really need my depressing music to get it all out of my system. Currently listening : Still Life By Aqualung Release date: 24 February, 2004 11:09 PM - 1 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Ides I signed up for Myspace on the Ides of March. Is that bad Myspace luck? 10:36 AM - 0 Comments - 0 Kudos - Add Comment - Edit - Remove

Marathon Current mood: mellow So, back in May, I signed up to do a Marathon. It is in Phoenix in January. I started training on Thursday. Really, I don't know what I have got myself into. I hurt in places I didn't even know existed on my body. I didn't know that one's bottom had so many muscles! I really must be somewhat masochistic to have decided to do this, well, maybe just insane. Not only do I have to travel 26. something miles on foot in less than 7 hours, I also have to raise $3700 to have the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society fly me to Phoenix so I can have the pleasure of tormenting my poor body in this way. All this before January. The fundraising is intimidating, but right now I'm more concerned with the shape of my poor body. I believe it is in shock after I got it out of bed at 5:30 yesterday morning to go and train. I took it out drinking last night, to try and reward it and to assure it I wasn't going to get too healthy, but it wasn't even in the mood to drink - I really think it was still in shock. Anyway, today is a much needed rest day, so I don't have to put it through any torment. This week I have to really start training in earnest, so we'll see if I'm still alive next Sunday. love to all, Claire