Thursday June 23rd, 2005

Art, traffic and bugs
Current mood: weird

The training for the marathon continues. I bought real athletic clothing today, the proper stuff, you know, with the dry-weave to keep you cool. I didn’t believe in all that dry-weave hocus-pocus, but I really have to admit that it does its job. I felt like a real exercising person (not a fake one) in my nifty, sporty looking dry-weave outfit. I walked further and faster than ever tonight, so maybe the outfit was magic after all.
All this exercising is making me feel great. I think there might be some benefit to becoming an exercise freak. I think it’s made my mind sharper. I feel more alive tonight than I have in a long time. I really don’t know how to explain it properly. I think I’m just surprised that I’m enjoying this so much.
It’s one o’ clock in the morning and I just finished watching a couple of episodes of Six Feet Under. I guess that’s enough to put anyone in a weird mood. I don’t know how a show can be both so weird and yet so normal at the same time. When you find yourself relating to the characters, you find yourself wondering if that’s normal. At the same time, you’re relieved that you actually might not be ordinary. The two episodes I watched focused somewhat on Claire in art school. They disturbed me because they are so typical of the useless trollop pedaled on students by art school teachers. They think they are inspiring students, but really they are just trying to form their students’ opinions into their own. It’s all about ego. I think art schools should teach craft and nothing else; leave the inspiration where it belongs, with the artist.
I went outside a few minutes ago because I felt too air-conditioned and stuffy inside the house and I lay on the hammock just looking up, risking being eaten alive by the mosquitoes (I'm very tasty, but no one but the mosquitoes seems to know it). I never realized that the traffic from the interstate sounded so loud. I guess I just blocked it out. I don’t even notice the trains anymore, and when they go by, they’re only two houses away. It’s funny how we get so used to our surroundings we don’t even notice quite obvious things. It’s good to change routine so you actually do notice these things.
Since I joined this artists’ coop thingy, I’ve been trying to look at things in different ways and find some inspiration in the things around me. After trying to bury any kind of artistic impulse I’ve had for the past three years, it is both difficult and enjoyable. Most days I just think I’m kind of crap and uninspired, but sometimes I’ll surprise myself by doing something kind of good (ish).